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"Happy Valley Nursing Home"Written By: Debs-dragon and SSjMatty
Disclaimer: The DBZ gang don't belong to us, we just borrow them to play with. No money being made here. We write for the love of it. Rating: PG. Torment of elderly Saiya-jins *evil grins* Ever thought about the future and what life will be
like? Well Matty and I somehow got on to the topic while chatting
and next thing we know the idea for this little ficlet was born. Thanks
to Matt for the inspiration that saw the idea get off the ground and
also for writing it with me. Hope you all get a laugh out of it. Enjoy.......
Co - Authored by Debs-dragon and SSJ Matty. February 2002. The gentle glow of fading sunlight bathed the grounds as the birds began to settle down for the oncoming evening. Peace and tranquility abounded, natures quiet sounds were joined by the gentle tinkle of a bell signifying that the evening meal was about to be served...... *Crash..... Bang....* Doors were slammed and the sound of feet shuffling rapidly broke the calm of the evening. "Get out of my way Kakarott!" "Shove off Vegeta, I was out here first." Two elderly 'gentlemen' were vying for position with their walking frames in a hallway that wasn't wide enough for the two side by side. Goku had the slight advantage today and had got the leg of his walker just in front of Vegeta's, but Vegeta didn't give up easily. "I said move out of my way!" "No way Vegeta. I was here first." "In my day you were taught to respect your elders! Not push them out of the way!" scowled Vegeta and he tried again to swing his frame past Goku's but he only succeeded in catching the handle against a doorknob and nearly went flying. "Temper, temper," taunted Goku "And your only 5 years older than me anyway, Grandpa!" Vegeta glared angrily. "Bow before your prince you common piece of garbage!" he yelled. Goku stared at Vegeta. "Bow?... Bow?..... Jeeze your kidding me aint you? Why if I bow before you it will take me at least 2 hours to straighten up again. The last time I tried to do up my shoe laces my back gave up and it was 4 hours before they could straighten me out." "Exactly!" exclaimed Vegeta. Goku looked hurt. "Why Vegeta, you cut me to the quick," he said but he continued to advance up the hallway making sure his frame was that bit ahead of Vegeta. Vegeta, seeing what Goku was up to was determined this time he would beat him to the dining room. He was sick and tired of missing out on the food because Kakarott got there ahead of him. Goku's senses prickled and the hair began to stand up on the back of his neck. He wasn't..... He wouldn't..... Would he? Behind him Vegeta screamed. Vegeta threw back his head and emitted a long drawn out howl. The air around him began to glow... the hair started to spike gold... eyes turned green. Goku turned green thinking about the last time this happened. 2 hip operations and 6 months later, Vegeta was back in the home and with a much worse temper. That was when Goku made the mental note that when you are older you don't heal as fast so don't turn Super saiya-jin! The sound of Vegeta's final transformation made him look back. Vegeta had changed, golden hair stood upright tinged with silver.... mean green eyes darted about.... the air around became charged with energy. "Oh wow," thought Goku. Vegeta went to lunge forward with the intent of catching Goku off guard and thereby passing him and getting to the dining room first, unfortunately he tripped on a piece of carpet, reached for the walking frame, missed and sent a fireball at it instead. "Oh SHIT!!." exclaimed Goku as he turned and ducked still keeping one eye on the energy ball which connected with Vegeta's walking frame. *Poof* Vegeta's walker went up in a cloud of smoke and Vegeta, unable to hold onto the super saiya-jin form any longer, changed back to normal, still tried to reach for the charred walker and fell on the floor as it disintegrated into ash around him. As the smoke cleared Vegeta looked up from his position on the floor to find Kakarot had 'sprinted' away and was now almost at the end of the hallway. Goku turned and waved as he disappeared around the corner. Vegeta smacked his head on the floor. "Why me? Why me?... " he asked no one in particular and then groaned as he heard the nurses approaching. The nurses came around the corner to be greeted by Vegeta's prone form and a pile of ash. They Tut tutted as they managed to raise the fallen prince to his feet once more and assist him to the dining room. Luckily for Vegeta there was minimal damage to his form, just some minor bruising and a few scorch marks. Nothing that good old panadol wouldn't fix. He was placed in a chair opposite Goku and left to await his meal. Goku looked up. "Glad to see you could finally join us old timer," he smirked. Vegeta just looked and scowled then screamed at the unfortunate kitchen hand to bring him his dinner or suffer the consequences. The kitchen hand having seen Vegeta's wrath before didn't need to be asked twice and high tailed it off to the kitchen. Meanwhile the nurse returned with a wheel chair and a couple of pills. She put the chair next to the table and dropped the pills next to Vegeta's plate along with a glass of water. "There you go," she said cheerily. Vegeta stared at the wheel chair in disgust. "I am not using that thing...." he said in a low menacing voice. "Well we are all out of walking frames," replied the nurse just as scathingly. Vegeta looked at the pills next to his plate. "What are these?" he asked, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. The nurse looked at the proud saiya-jin. "Those are panadol. They are a pain reliever. They will help to ease some of the pain from your fall earlier." She drew the words out as if speaking to a two year old and not an elderly gentleman. Then placing her face within centimeters of Vegeta's she stared defiantly into those coal black depths and spoke.... "You... Will... Take... Them..." she said slowly and with emphasis on the Will. Then she moved back and nodded her head towards the pills and the glass of water. Goku watched with interest as the Prince's facade crumbled and obediently he picked up the panadol and with a gulp of the water chased them down his throat. "Now can I have my dinner?" he growled. "Yes you may," said the nurse and patting Vegeta on the arm like a good puppy she went to the kitchen to fetch his food. "What are you looking at Kakarot?!" "Oh nothing," said Goku as he scratched the back of his head absently, then proceeded to clean up the last of the bowls in front of him. The nurse returned from the kitchen with a tray and carefully put it down in front of Vegeta. Vegeta looked at the trays contents then at the nurse before returning the gaze to the tray again. Then with a wave of his hand he gestured towards the tray. "And just what is this?" he asked. "Errr.... I'm sorry, Vegeta, but there doesn't seem to be anything else left in the kitchen," apologized the nurse. Vegeta continued to stare at the tray's contents. A slice of bread and cup of coffee. With great control he held his temper in check and then spoke in a voice so calm that the nurse fainted. "And just why is the kitchen empty?" *twitch* A glare that spoke volumes was sent in Goku's direction. "Hey don't look at me," said Goku rather hurriedly and then stared at Vegeta. "What? *twitch* Why are you staring at me? said Vegeta. "Ummm.... you just twitched." "No I didn't." *twitch* "Yes you did." "Look here Kakarot.. *Twitch* I'm sure that *twitch* if I had twitched *twitch* I would be *twitch* aware of it." *Twitch* *zap* A small beam of energy shot from Vegeta's finger and ploughed through the back of an empty chair leaving a neat hole. Both Vegeta and Goku stared at the smoking hole and then at each other. "What did you do that for?" asked Goku. "That chair never did anything to you... " " I have no idea," *twitch* replied Vegeta. "It just shot out... all by itself." *Twitch* *zap* The kitchen hand ducked just in time as another energy beam shot across the room and struck the wall. The kitchen hand threw a look of despair in Vegeta's direction and retreated to the kitchen once more. He emerged seconds later with a large saucepan over his head and cautiously made his way across the dining room and out the door, never once taking his eyes off Vegeta. Goku stared at Vegeta. "That wasn't very polite, Vegeta." "I know *twitch* I can't seem to help it. *Twitch* I don't know what *twitch* is going on." *Twitch* *zap* Goku jumped just in time as another beam shot out scorching his pants before embedding in the wall behind. "Vegeta!! Be more careful will you?" yelled Goku. "Just remember I'm no spring chicken any more. I can't move as fast as I used to." "Sorry, but I can't seem to control it." *Twitch* *zap* The next few minutes in the dining room are best forgotten as Vegeta continued to twitch and zap his way around the entire room. Eventually Goku managed to get hold of the prince and subdue the twitching slightly, at the same time he restricted the energy flow to a harmless occasional glow. "Okay..... Now please explain just what is going on Vegeta," said Goku while still holding the prince in a steel grip. "I have no idea, Kakarot. I was fine until they gave me the bread and coffee." "But you haven't touched your food yet," said Goku. Vegeta looked down at the tray still in front of him. The coffee was still in the cup but the bread was scorched from a wayward energy beam. "Good thing I like toast," he said and reaching out snagged the slice and ate it quickly. The twitches started to slow and the energy beams disappeared. Goku released Vegeta and scratched his head. This was so confusing. All that Vegeta had had was the bread, some water and the panadol. The bread he had eaten after the twitching had started so that left the water and the panadol. Vegeta had drunk water before with no effects so that left the panadol...... No surely not..... Everyone took panadol without any side effects..... "Errr, Vegeta?" "What, Kakarot?" "Have you ever taken panadol before?" "No, I have not had a need to. We always used sensu beans when we were injured." Vegeta looked at Goku. "You don't seriously think?" he said. Goku nodded "Yes I do." Vegeta suddenly chuckled "Well who would have thought?" The door to the kitchen opened and the head nurse and cook stuck their heads around. "Is it safe to come out now?" asked the nurse. Goku nodded and then went into hysterics as the cook and nurse, clad in 'armor', entered the room. Each had a dustbin lid strapped to their chest and the cook wore a steel strainer on his head while the nurse sported the latest in large stock pots. Goku's hysterics soon turned to uncontrolled coughing and then wheezing as Vegeta thumped him on the back. *cough... cough.. choke* "Thanks Vegeta," gurgled Goku as he managed to get his respiratory system under control once more. "I have told you before Kakarot that you can only die by my hand," sneered Vegeta and then he turned to the cook. Narrowing his eyes he honed in on the unsuspecting cook. Seeing the predatory glint in Vegeta's eyes the cook gulped and quickly noted the exits. Vegeta scowled. "What is the meaning of feeding me bread and coffee?" he demanded. "B..b..but it's all we have left in the kitchen. No one told me how much you two eat! If I had known just what size appetites you two have then I wouldn't have taken this job in the first place." The cook started to lose his fear as anger took over, he started to rant.... "Talk about the hungry hoard... Your never satisfied... cook this, cook that, feed me, more, more, always its I want more... I can't keep up with you. In fact I have had enough... I don't want to cook for you any more. Your never happy with what or how much I cook so from here on you can do it yourself!! I hereby quit!!" He stormed and then putting his hands on his hips he stared defiantly at Vegeta. The nurse scooted back against the wall as she watched Vegeta's eyes narrow. This was not looking good for the cook she decided. "Oh don't bother with resigning..." said Vegeta and he raised his palm. "Consider yourself Terminated!" he hissed as he released an energy ball at the now trembling cook. Goku sighed. "I knew it was a bad idea to let him watch Arnie in the Terminator the other night. Oi, Vegeta..... Now what are we going to do about a cook?" "Do I look like Centerlink?" The head nurse crawled out from underneath the table she had been hiding under and dusting off her uniform and removing the stockpot she surveyed the damage. It looked like the dining room would need a couple of days to repair the damage. Luckily it wasn't as bad as the last time Vegeta had decided to lay vent to his temper. Replacing the cook could take some time though. That was the biggest hurdle. Getting someone that was willing to cook the large amounts of food that these two seemed to consume. They needed someone who didn't mind being chained to the kitchen for 24 / 7, either that or send the pair of them somewhere else. But that idea didn't appeal either as the rather sizable donation that the pairs families made each year allowed the home to be able to afford to be selective in the number and status of the residents it took in. Hmmmm.... if only there was some way that this pairs rate of food consumption could be slowed down. The nurse scratched her chin thoughtfully. Surely there had to be something she could do to curb their appetites. A little light appeared above her head......... Bingo..... Goku, seeing the little light bulb appear above the nurses head nudged Vegeta. "Hey look... A bright spark!" he giggled and then went into peals of laughter at his own joke. Vegeta just humphed. "That means she has had an idea you idiot!" hissed Vegeta and then he pondered the thought. An idea... hmmmm just what was this nurse up to? |
