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"Happy Valley Nursing Home"Written By: Debs-dragonand SSjMatty
Disclaimer: The DBZ gang don't belong to us, we just borrow them to play with. No money being made here. We write for the love of it. Rating: PG. Torment of elderly Saiya-jins *evil grins* Ever thought about the future and what life will be
like? Well Matty & I somehow got on to the topic while chatting
and next thing we know the idea for this little ficlet was born. Thanks
to Matt for the inspiration that saw the idea get off the ground and
also for writing it with me. Hope you all get a laugh out of it. Enjoy.......
Happy Valley Nursing Home. Part ??? Errr... The end part...... :)
"We need to make sure that the staff here are aware that you both have your teeth again. Then tonight when you take them out pop them in a container that I will leave for you and put them by the bed. Once the nurse has been and turned out the lights I will swap the containers over and who ever is responsible for nabbing the gnashers will be caught red handed so to speak." Goten laughed out loud as the image of a person with their arms encased up to the elbows in a set of teeth flashed into his head. Vegeta scowled, "Are you sure it will work brat?" "Trust me dad." said Trunks "Thats what I'm afraid of." replied Vegeta. It was Trunks turn to scowl. "You can always let the tooth fairy have them again... It doesn't bother me." he said and smirked at his father. "Im still waiting for the twenty for the last lot she took." muttered Goku. Goten cast his eyes skywards, "Thank kami that Santa and the Easter Bunny only come once a year." he mumbled under his breath. "Look here." said Trunks starting to get exasperated by his fathers obvious lack of faith in him "I inherited more from my mother than just her good looks you know." Vegeta scoffed at this minor revelation... "Looks? Why you wouldn't even know the meaning of the word good looks!" "Oh yeah! And I suppose you do?" retorted Trunks. "But of course. I am your perfect example of a living legend." stated Vegeta "The female species find me ........." "Obnoxious... loud mouthed... arrogant..... " whispered Goku. "Yes obnoxious... loud mouthed.... arrogant...Hang on a sec, No they DON'T ! Stop putting words in my mouth Kakarott !!" yelled Vegeta. Goku smiled innocently. "Who ever heard of purple hair and that black outfit you wear as contributing to good looks." smirked Vegeta. "Well it obviously works as why else have I got countless females swooning over me and setting up shrines dedicated to me on the web.????? " "He does have a valid point there Vegeta." stated Goku. "When I want your opinion on something Kakarott I will give it to you!!" screamed Vegeta. Vegeta realising he was coming out of this battle at the wrong end decided to shut up and retreat slightly. Waiting on the side lines until the opportunity would arise for him to once more state his presence. Trunks licked his index finger and made a downward gesture in the air indicating that this round went to him. "As I was saying, I inherited more than my good looks from my mother. I also inherited her brains." *cough... cough... choke... choke...* Goku reached across and thumped Vegeta on the back. "There better now?" Vegetas colouring began to return from blue to the more familiar pink. "So what do you plan to do to the teeth then Trunks?" asked Goten. "Well I will start by taking some wires and running them through the lower mandible then adjoin them to the upper plate before introducing a smaller circuitry into the upper molars that will be instantaneously sparked off when they are removed from their current place of rest. The resulting forces of physics will come into play and before you know it the teeth will alert us as to the fact that someone is trying to steal them." Trunks folded his arms across his chest and stared smugly at the rest of the group. Goku stared blankly at Trunks. Vegeta smirked, "Think your a smart a$$ don't you?" "No I don't think I am... I know I am." responded Trunks with an equally devilish grin. "Oh I get it." said Goten. "I hope its not contagious then." giggled Trunks. Once more the little light bulb appeared, this time over Goten's head as the joke hit home. "Ha, ha, ha. Good one Trunks." he said. "I don't get it...." said Goku scratching his head. Goten opened his mouth to explain then thinking better of it shut it again. Vegeta waved his hand impatiently in the air. "So what's the go with the teeth then?" "Yeah, could you tell us again but this time in plain english?" said Goku. "I think what Trunks is trying to say is that he basically intends to hot wire the teeth so that whoever tries to nick them will be instantly bitten." said Goten and he looked across at Trunks for confirmation. Trunks nodded. "Got it in one." he said. "Okay then. I will leave it up to you then Trunks. Just let us know what we have to do wont you?" said Goku. Trunks got up. "I will Goku. Now Im heading back home to wire up some dentures, I will be back soon okay?" and with that Trunks started to walk out of the room. "I better go with him and help out." said Goten. "Catch you later dad.... Vegeta.." and with a nod of his head Goten also left. Goku leaned back into the chair and folded his arms behind his head. "Sounds like a good plan to me." he cocked an eye in Vegetas direction. "Humph. Lets see if it works first before you go getting yourself all carried away Kakarot." ~ Later ~ Twilight was settling once more over the home, Vegeta and Goku were watching television in the rec room when Trunks and Goten re appeared. Trunks was carrying a small brown paper wrapped parcel. The 4 headed down the hallway and into Goku's room. Goten shut the door behind them and all attention turned to Trunks who had flopped onto the bed. He pulled the parcel into his lap and opened it. There sat two identical pairs of dentures. To all intents and purposes they looked exactly like the real thing, closer investigation however revealed a small hole at the rear of the upper set and a very tiny black wire was barely visible passing through that hole and connecting to the bottom set. "So, how do they work?" Trunks gingerly put a container on the night stand. Then he placed the teeth into the container and pulling out a small remote device he flipped a switch. "Okay. They are all set. Now would anyone care to try to take them out of their container and just how they work will be revealed." said Trunks. Vegeta eyed the container suspiciously. Goten backed away slightly, he had already copped a first hand demonstration back at Capsule Corp. Goku sighed "Looks like its me then." and he reached forward to the container. A second later he yelped and removed his hand in rather a hurry. Goten and Trunks both dissolved into fits of laughter as Goku held up his hand that now had a pair of teeth firmly attached to the fingers. "Ouch!... Ouch!.. Ouch!.. Get them off me.. please, someone get them off!" Goku was holding his hand and trying to shake the offending nippers from his fingers. Trunks switched the remote off and the teeth released Gokus fingers and fell to the floor. Goku sat sucking his sore digits. "That sure is effective Trunks." he managed to get out around his fingers. Vegeta sat staring at the teeth, his mind working in mysterious ways, the thoughts going through his head were obviously evilly intended. He wondered what sort of a reaction he would get if he accidentally slipped a set of them into Kakarots bed. He chuckled at the thought. Three sets of eyes staring intently at him returned him to the current plane with a jolt. "What?" "You were laughing." "No I wasn't." "Yes you were. Now what were you thinking about?" asked Trunks raising an eyebrow & tapping a foot. "Nothing! Now can we please set this trap so I can go to bed!" Vegeta scowled at the three. No one was feeling game enough to tackle him further at this point so setting the teeth in the containers and bidding their fathers goodnight Trunks & Goten left. They made a definite point of saying goodnight to the head nurse and informing her that their respective fathers were all tucked in for the night and teeth were out and on the night stands. Then they proceeded to leave. They only went a short way down the road before returning and sneaking around the grounds located their parents rooms and parked themselves underneath the window of Gokus room to await the teeth napper. The little red devil appeared. "So, looks like we have to perform again tonight." he snickered A rather bedraggled looking angel appeared. "How many times do I have to tell you that it wont work... you will get caught." "Look here you feathered fiend No one asked for your opinion" The angel dusted off his 'dress' and straightening his halo looked at the devil and poked out his tongue. "Truth and justice will always wi...ark!" The angel was caught off guard as the devil jumped him. Wrapping the angels wings firmly around his body then tying them there with his cape the devil then took the halo and dragged it down to cover the angels mouth. He stood back with trident in hand and spoke. "Now goody two shoes, get out of that one." He picked up the angel and stuffed him in the open makeup bag on the table of the nurses room. The head nurse looked at the devil. The devil grinned back and offering his arm said "Shall we?" and the two of them left the room to patrol the corridors once more. Quietly she pushed open the door to Gokus room. The elderly saiya-jin was sound asleep, the blankets piled high over his slumbering form. In the moonlight she could make out the container on the night stand. "Go on.... you can do it..... Im with you all the way..." spoke the devil Outside Trunks & Goten had stiffened sensing the nurses presence and were crouched in battle mode, ready to fly through the window as soon as it was necessary. The nurse inched her way forward and reached into the container....... * SNAP! * Suddenly all hell broke loose. The nurse began to scream as something latched onto her fingers and began to bite, Goku shot out of the bed causing his pacemaker to short circuit, Trunks and Goten flew in through the window shattering it as they went, and Vegeta upended his wheel chair in his excitement to get to the room leaving him no option but to use a walking stick to make painfully slow progress to the scene of the action. The light went on as the rest of the night staff appeared to see just what the noise was all about. They were confronted by a wild sight. Goku was now sprawled on the bed with Vegeta bending over him pounding his chest and screaming "You will start to beat again..... I am not going to let you get away like this Kakarot! Only I am allowed to kill you!" A purple haired guy and what looked like a younger Goku were trying to get a hold of the head nurse who was being chased around the room by a pair of teeth. Seeing the commotion all around him the devil took one look and said " See you later sweetie, your on your own!" but just before he could disappear in a cloud of red smoke a certain angel grabbed him from behind and quickly pulled a halo over his head & shoulders effectively pinning his arms to his sides. "Not so fast you hot head. Time to pay for your deeds." and with a wave of his wings they disappeared. "That would be right... deserted in my hour of need.." muttered the nurse under her breath and then screamed as the teeth found her rear & sank in. She took a flying leap and clearing the group at the door she high tailed it down the hallway screaming "I Quit!!" with the teeth still snapping at her heels she ran from the building and wasn't heard from again. Things quickly calmed down after that. Trunks & Goten pulled Vegeta off Goku and let the medics do their job of restoring the pacemaker, Vegetas bruises were attended to and the broken window replaced. Trunks & Goten explained all the happenings to the respective authorities who all agreed that they hadn't seen anything so funny in a long time. Goten summed it up in a simple sentence.... "Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the words bionic jaw dont it?" The sun was slowly sinking once more bathing the grounds of the Happy Valley Nursing Home with its orange hues. The dinner bell had been rung and the elderly folk were again as they had countless times before making there way serenely to the dining room. The smell of burning rubber hit the nostrils..... *Crash.... Thump.... Bang... Screech..... * " Get out of my way Vegeta!" "Shove off Kakarot!" and Vegeta manoeuvred his wheel chair infront of the other then grasping the wheels proceeded to push himself frantically down the hallway. Goku grabbed the handles on the back of Vegetas chair and the chair suddenly stopped its forward propulsion and sat spinning its wheels instead. Vegeta realising he was going no where fast reached behind and rapped Goku across the knuckles with his walking stick. "Now let go Kakarot. You young whipper snapper you!" Goku yelped as the wood connected with his hand and let go of the wheel chair. Vegeta did a 'wheelie' and then was off down the hallway at speeds that would have made pole position at the grand prix. An unsuspecting orderly was about to enter the hallway with his arms full of dirty laundry when a blue figure whizzed past. The orderly jumped back hastily. Then he once more attempted to step out only this time an orange figure came screaming past effectively upsetting his balance and causing him to spill the pile of laundry into the hall way. "Wheeeeeeeeeee....... I will get you for that Vegeta..." The orderly sighed and started to pick up the spilt sheets and towels. It didn't take long for things to get back to normal around here he noted.
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