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"This is your Life.....Vegeta "Written By: Debs-dragon & SSjMatty Disclaimer: We don't own The DBZ crew a rich Japanese person does. We don't own the T.V. show 'This is your Life' either. We are just borrowing them all and making up our own brand of insane humour. No money being made here, don't sue as neither one of us has anything worthwhile, unless you want my dog. :) Rating: PG 13. Contains some violence and language. Notes: Again Matty and I were conversing and the idea of Vegetas past life being on display came to mind. Soon after this ficcy was born. The corny one liner's you can blame on Matt, the rest you can blame on me >_<
"This is your Life.... Vegeta" Chapter 2 Part 2 Mike picked up the red book and opening it to the beginning he motioned for Bulma and Vegeta to take a seat. Once they were comfortable he continued. "Your early years were full of trauma. Your mother died giving birth to you and this set the precedent for a rather violent childhood." Vegeta grunted and folded his arms. "So what." "Do you recognise this voice Vegeta?" "Hello son." "Hmmph. It's my old man. What does he want?" scowled Vegeta. "Well he offered to give us an insight into your baby years so as we can better understand why you are as you are. Just listen, I'm sure it will be enlightening." said Mike. "Yes shut up Vegeta, I want to know what happened to you as a baby." said Bulma. The voice continued. " His mother was so looking forward to his birth, she had visions of the sort of son and heir he would be. Loyal, trustworthy, fair and caring were some of the attributes she hoped he would inherit from her. Needless to say when he finally arrived it was a shock to us all. This screaming, kicking little bundle came into the universe and when she saw that head of hair... well... what can I say. She took one look at that hair and had a coronary. In a matter of moments I lost my life mate and inherited a demon." Bulma looked suitably stunned, Vegeta on the other hand smirked. "Told you I was a warrior." "The boy was a menace as he grew up. He went to the nursery with all the other new-borns but only stayed there for a day." said King Vegetas voice. "He wouldn't stop that high pitched screaming and in the end the nursery staff kicked him out, so I was forced to have personal nannies for him." Mike picked up the tale. "Due to your restless nature you had a lot of different baby-sitters over the years. This could explain why you tended to be such a loner. Do you recognise this voice?" "Hello there prince Vegeta, remember me?" Vegeta's eyebrows shot up on his head. "Nappa? Is that you?" "Yes it's me. After you had blown up, tortured, or wounded several of your baby-sitters no one would go anywhere near you. So I got the job of wet nursing you. They figured that I was the only one you couldn't destroy at that time." Mike and Bulma both began to look a little pale at this revelation. Nappa's voice continued. "It took a while.... namely 6 years and a lot of soul searching by your many tutors, fellow warriors, physicians and myself but we did discover the reason for your erratic behaviour." Bulma quirked an eyebrow. "We finally managed to put a name to your problem. A.D.H.D. Otherwise known as Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder as its known on earth. Unfortunately we did not have the resources to provide a cure." Vegeta looked back at the people staring at him. "What? I told you I was one of a kind." he smirked. Bulma rolled her eyes. "After much thought by your father, a lot of begging from the royal staff, grovelling by me and the emergence of a tyrant known as Frieza, your father did the only thing he could do under the circumstances. He sent you to Frieza." Vegeta scowled. "I always knew the old man had ulterior motives." "You got that right. He figured that by sending you to Frieza he would be rid of two major problems in one go." replied Nappas voice. "So much for that concept." said Bulma sarcastically. Vegeta frowned. "Who asked your opinion woman?" A discreet cough brought the obviously volatile situation to a close, for the moment anyway. "So before we say goodbye to Nappa there is one question I'm sure we all want an answer to." said Mike. Audience: "There is?" Mike looked daggers at the audience. "Yes there is. Nappa, when you first started to look after Vegeta you had a rather becoming head of hair and yet when you appeared later on all your hair was gone. Why?" "Its called the ageing process." offered Vegeta. "No it wasn't. You know full well that it was you Vegeta." replied Nappa's voice haughtily. "So what happened?" asked Bulma. "Lets say it was another of his practical jokes." replied Nappa. "He came to me one day and told me that he had had enough of being a Saiyan and was going to defect." "Defect?" chorused the audience. "What are you lot? a bunch of parrots?" exclaimed Nappa. "But defect? Where to?" asked Bulma. Vegeta smirked. "I told him I was going to go join the Pokemon team." Audience "Gasp" "That wasn't what caused the hair to fall out though, It's when he said he had always had a thing for a certain yellow character that emitted lightening bolts that did it." Bulma looked suitably shocked, Mike was turning red, the audience was in hysterics and Vegeta sat with that ever present smirk on his face. "You have to admit, baldness suited him better." sneered Vegeta. Mike decided it was time to press on and turning the page in the book continued. "It was during your time with Frieza that you met another Saiyan, one by the name of Radditz. He became a buddy and playmate of sorts." "So what. He was a loser." said Vegeta. "What do you mean by that?" asked Bulma. "Well he just kind of attached himself to me, sort of a tag-a-long I suppose. When I was training he was always there." Vegeta suddenly shuddered. "All that hair. It used to get in the way, at first I thought he was a girl with so much hair." "Lets see what Radditz has to say about that." said Mike. And the large doors behind him slid open to reveal...... Yes... thats right... Raddish... sorry... Radditz. Radditz stepped out and made his way to Vegeta who promptly
stood up and growled at him. Radditz glared at the Saiyan before him. "Don't flatter yourself." Mike interrupted quickly. "So tell me Radditz why did you follow Vegeta around and want to train with him all the time?" Radditz thought carefully. "Well you see it was his hair that fascinated me." "What the hell is all this obsession with hair?" asked Bulma. Audience: "Yeah we want to know too." Mike raised his eyes to the heavens. "Oi you two." Deb & Matty: "Who us?" Mike: "Yes you two. Just what is the deal with the hair in this chapter?" Deb: "Ummm thats a tough one. Matt, any ideas?" Matt: "Hey don't go looking at me, Im just the ideas and suggestions guy. Blame her, she actually puts this down on paper." *points the finger at Deb* Deb: "Traitor" Vegeta watches the current action with a satisfied smile on his face. "That will teach them for divulging my life. Bet they wont be in a hurry to write anything about me again in the near future." he muttered. Deb: "Oh no.... just watch us. Bananas, in Pyjamas.... Ring a bell Vegeta?" [1] :"You wouldn't." said Vegeta. "Trust me, she is Vegeta." said Matty. Vegeta groaned, Deb grinned evilly and Matty took off real quick. "Ahem...... " said Bulma. "May we continue?" "Sure." said Deb and hastily followed Matty's disappearing footsteps. "So what was it about his hair that fascinated you Radditz?" asked Mike. "Well it's the way it always stands up so straight. I mean it can't be natural the way it defies gravity. Vegeta was to an extent my idol and I wanted to imitate him in any way possible so I tried to emulate his hair with mine. I tried everything from hair gel to starch but it didn't work. Oh it would stay for a while but the cost of so many tubes of super glue was beyond even my modest bank account. I was about to give up and then I stumbled across his secret." "And what might that have been?" enquired Mike. Vegeta's head snapped up and he gave a distinctly "don't you dare" look to Radditz. Radditz glared back and stuck out his tongue. "I'm gonna tell all Vegeta. Its about time you came out of the closet." "You do and you will be permanently in the closet." scowled Vegeta. "In case it has passed your excuse for a brain I'm already dead so you cant kill me again." "Want to bet? I can take that dark halo of yours and place it somewhere very uncomfortable." glowered Vegeta. "Ohh promises, promises. See you are really in denial." Radditz said assuming the pose with one hand resting lightly on his hip. "Can we get back to the secret of the hair please?" asked Mike. Radditz stole another quick glance at Vegeta and proceeded. "Well we were in the technicians room one day playing around with the computers. We thought we would go surfing the net and we found this site. I don't remember the name of it but there was this bulletin board thing there and it was all devoted to anime. There was this one section for our anime so we had a look. Thats when I found the secret to his hair." The audience were all sitting on the edge of their seats with baited breath. "There was this one topic going and one of the board members happened to say how much she would like to see a yaoi story written about myself and Vegeta. Well, when he read this he looked a bit stunned. He didn't know what yaoi meant. Luckily others did and when he read the explanation there well, his hair stood up on end and has stayed there to this day." Vegeta went bright red, Bulma looked at him funny. "Well what can I say? It was a hell of a shock. Especially when Radditz said he had no objection!" replied Vegeta. "It was just after that I got sent to earth to find out what was happening there." said Radditz, then looking full into Vegeta's eyes he continued. "It's not that bad you know Vegeta." he winked coyly. Vegeta went into a dead faint, Bulma and Mike had major nosebleeds, the audience was eagerly awaiting more, Deb sat back with a large bucket of popcorn and Matty... he was last seen heading for Siberia. ~ to be continued ~ [1] I got this idea of Bananas in Pyjamas in my head
& it wont leave me alone. The fic is currently being written so
watch out for it's appearance soon ! |
