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" I Do, I Think "Written By: Debs-dragon Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang a rich Japanese man does. Rating: PG. 13 Warnings: Humor, sap, some mild language, OOC, OC Archive: www.dragonball-diaries.150m.com Anyone else please ask, I'm happy to share. Notes: This is a request fic for Chi Chi Goku's Wife (Jessica). She very nicely e mailed me and requested a humor fic featuring herself with her favorite DBZ character... Goku of course. Summary: Chi Chi divorced Goku as she was sick
and tired of him always going off to fight and save the world. Goku
has been single for a while when he finally met Jessica. Now after
a whirlwind romance and courtship they are about to tie the knot. "I Do, I Think" Debs-dragon Feb 2003 Jessica couldn't have asked for a better day for her wedding. The sun was shining brightly, puffy white clouds floated lazily across the blue sky. An air of peaceful serenity abounded. Taking another look around she went back inside to prepare for the wedding ahead. Goku was also staring at the sky. Today he was going to get married... for the second time. He hoped this time would work out better than before. He sighed as his mind wandered back to his first marriage... He had been a mere boy on a quest for the elusive dragonballs when he met Chi Chi. Somehow she had tricked him into marriage. At least that's how he remembered it. He wasn't the brightest of people, preferring to trust in his simple innocence that all people were good. Unfortunately that had been his downfall on more than one occasion. Chi Chi was one of the biggest mistakes. He had gone along with her sweet, charming ways and promised her anything she wanted... mainly because he had led a rather sheltered life and didn't fully understand what the heck was going on around him half the time. Only half realizing what he had gotten into he was unfortunately, for him, a man of his word and so he kept his word and married the girl, although he couldn't for the life of him remember when he had promised to do that. Life at first had been pretty good. Chi Chi taught him all about being a respectful and dutiful husband and he relished in the role. The down side to it all came when he wanted to go and train. For some reason she seemed totally opposed to him keeping himself fit and in practice. And so the first of many arguments had begun. He thought it had been bad when he took off to face Frieza. Most thought he had died when Namek blew up, but he had managed to escape the planet and spent the year recovering on a small planet called Yadrat. At least that's what he led them all to believe. Truth was Goku hadn't the courage to come home and face his wife whom he knew would be seething with anger as he had ignored her stern warning to stay put or else. The fact he had taken Gohan with him too didn't sit well. By the time he had returned she had cooled down from a raging inferno to a smoldering flame. Needless to say he had been given the run down on all that was wrong with what he did and why he shouldn't do it.... made feel guilty about charging off and then confined to the house for the next six months. When Cell arrived that was the end. When fighting on the battlefield the idea occurred to him that he wasn't ever going to be free from the constant nagging and daily torture of his mind. So he blew himself up with cell. Drastic times called for drastic measures. Sure, all his friends had thought him a hero... committing a selfless act to save the planet once more. Chi Chi had called it a cowards way out. He opted to stay in the other world for some time to give her space to cool off again before returning for the world tournament. When the evil of Babidi and Buu showed up that finished Chi Chi. Dead or not she told him she couldn't go on this way anymore. If he was going to go and fight to save the world yet again then she was through... finished... end of the line as in 'I am leaving you buster'. Chi Chi left. Goku threw a party..... and then went to save the world anyway. Once normality had returned Goku settled into the bachelor life again quite well. Gohan went on to marry Videl and Goten moved in with them leaving Goku free to enjoy his home in peace. Several years passed and he met up with another person. This time he was sure it was love. He took his time getting to know her and making sure that she understood who and what he was. He was determined not to make the same mistake again. He was happy... he was content... he was getting married.... in fifteen minutes.... Oh shit! he thought. Fifteen minutes and I'm not even ready yet. He shot into the house and quickly showered, dressed, brushed his hair, pulled on his socks and shoes, brushed his teeth and double checked he had everything. Had anyone been watching they would have been reminded of a scene from the old movies where everyone is running around at a hundred miles an hour and getting nowhere fast other than to collide with pieces of random furniture. Glancing at the clock he had five minutes to spare. Raising fingers to forehead he instant transmissioned to the church... by way of Mc Donald's. Krillin was pacing up and down, glancing at his watch from time to time. Vegeta stood propping up the wall, usual scowl in place. "Where the hell is he?" asked Krillin for the tenth time in the past two minutes. "Knowing Kakarott it has something to do with his stomach. Either that or his brain has short circuited and he's transmissioned to the wrong place." "Great! That's all we need. Bride and guests here while Goku is off on some other planet." muttered Krillin. A flash soon changed that thought though as Goku arrived with his arms full of Big Mac's. "Where the hell have you been?" stormed Krillin. "Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?" asked Goku around a mouthful of pickles, cheese and beef. "Just your brain." sneered Vegeta. "Want a big Mac?" Goku asked offering the various parcels around. Krillin looked at him, Vegeta just sneered, "How can you eat those things?" "It's easy Vegeta, you just open your mouth, pop it in and chew... see..." "Goku!" "Yes Krillin?" "In case you have forgotten you're getting married in..." he looked at his watch, "..Shit! less than thirty seconds. Come on." Krillin grabbed Goku by the arm and yanked him through the back door of the church. * * * Jessica gazed unseeing at the landscape as it passed the window of the limo she rode in, across from her sat Bulma and Juuhachigou. Both women had agreed to be her attendants for the day and having gone through the whole marriage bit themselves could sympathize fully with the nervousness she was feeling. They offered simple advice and kept her calm, something she was grateful for. The tall spire of the church grew in stature as they approached and Jessica allowed her eyes to wander over the impressive piece. Soon enough they pulled up at the front of the old stone building. Juu and Bulma quickly alighted and Jessica followed. They stood for a moment sorting out her dress and making sure the veil was in order before finding Master Roshi who was conveniently ogling off all the women in the church. With Jessica's parents living in another country they were unable to attend the wedding and so Master Roshi had been brought in to give her away. His eyes lit up when he saw the blushing bride and he put extra swagger into his walk as he approached her. Juu however was by his side in an instant. They walked together as Juu whispered something into his ear causing the walk to take on a stiffer more formal pace. "Keep your mind out of the gutter old man. One wrong move and I promise you will be singing soprano for the church choir for the rest of your days." Roshi sweat dropped. "He he he... Why I have no intention of being anything other than the perfect gentleman." "Good. Now lets get this show on the road." The organ music began to play and Jessica took a deep breath before following her attendants down the aisle. She could see all her friends as well as Gokus sitting in the pews gazing at her as she walked past. Her heart was racing but then she saw him and everything faded into the background. He was waiting for her just by the altar, black tux neatly in place, white cuffs just visible from the end of the sleeves, hair wild around his head and a stray glob of what looked like tomato sauce on his chin. Krillin watched the arrival of the bride with a sense of peace. He was sure this time his life long friend was going to be happy. He switched his eyes to Goku and noticed with horror the drop of sauce on his chin. He quickly grabbed his handkerchief and dipped it into the basin of holy water before grabbing a surprised Goku's chin and scrubbing furiously. "What the hell are you doing?" hissed Goku. "Sauce." "Oh." Cleaned up Krillin relinquished his hold and Goku turned once more to his bride who had now arrived at his side. A small sigh escaped her lips and Goku grinned at her as he took her hand. The Priest began the ceremony, bible open in front of him he began to recite the words from the book, adding in a few of his own. Goku sneezed. The priest continued. Goku sneezed again, the priest looked at him from the corner of his eye. Goku gave him an apologetic grin. The priest continued. Goku sneezed again. The priest stopped and looked at him. Goku shrugged his shoulders. The priest opened his mouth to start again and glanced back at Goku, seeing no sneeze he started to speak then stopped as Goku's nose wrinkled again. The priest started..... "Ahhhhh choooooo" The priest stopped and gave Goku a glare. "Sorry." The priest started again, Goku sneezed again. It became a race of sorts. The priest would begin to speak, Goku would sneeze. It went on for about five minutes before the priest lost his cool slammed the bible shut and glared at Goku. Goku looked sheepish and sneezed again. "Just what is the problem?" the priest hissed angrily. Jessica was trying desperately to hold her giggles, even Vegeta had something resembling a smile on his face. Goku scratched his head. "Well you see... it's the flowers... I'm kind of allergic to roses." All eyes turned to Jessica and the large bouquet of red and pink roses she was carrying. "Oh." several voices echoed in unison. Bouquet having been relegated to the outside the ceremony continued once more. * * * "Now for the ring please" the priest said. All eyes turned to Krillin. Krillin smiled and reached inside his jacket to the small pocket, he reached into the other pocket... He brought his hands out and searched the pockets on the outside of the jacket, his grin wavering a little. He fished around in his trouser pockets... nothing. Krillin began to turn pale as he searched every pocket in the clothing he wore. "You did remember the ring didn't you Krillin." asked Goku. "Err..... I'm sure I put in one of these pockets." Juu sighed and walked over to her husband. She picked him up and turned him upside down and began to shake him rather unceremoniously. Loose change, handkerchief, Mc Donald's wrapper and a stick of bubble gum fell out all over the floor but no ring. Dumping Krillin on his butt on the floor Juu folded her arms over her chest and glared at him. Tapping her foot she said, "You left it sitting on the dressing table didn't you?" "He he he... I think I must have." "You have exactly ten minutes to go and get it." "Yes dear." Krillin sprinted for the church doors and shot off into the sky flying at his top speed and then some. "So now what do we do?" asked Jessica. "Anyone for a quick game of poker?" asked the priest. * * * Krillin made it back in nine minutes and forty five seconds to find the wedding party sitting comfortably around the altar. "I'll see you're five and raise you ten." came Jessica's voice. "I'm folding." "Me too." Goku and Bulma laid down their cards, Juu had already folded. "I'll match your ten and raise you another ten." smirked Vegeta. The priest chucked in twenty. I'll see you." he said. Jessica smiled. "Okay boy's lets see what you got." The priest set his cards down, a pair of jacks and three five's. Vegeta scoffed. "Is that all you had?" Vegeta laid his cards down. Four aces and a king. "Read them and weep." he snickered and went to claim his winnings. "Not so fast buddy boy." Jessica gave an evil smirk and spread out her cards. "Royal flush." "Damn! How did you get that woman!?" "Ahhhh... another of my many secrets." said Jessica. "Errr.... people.... I'm back.... with the ring." Krillin looked at the group that were oblivious to his presence. He waved the small box in front of their faces. "Hey you lot... remember me? remember this? Wedding... ring... ceremony?" "Oh Krillin, you're back." said Juu as she finally came back to the present. "Sheesh. Finally." said Krillin as the cards were put away and places taken once more. The ring was then produced and the rest of the ceremony went without hitch. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." said the priest with a flourish. "You may kiss the bride." Goku stepped forward and lifted the lace veil. He smiled as he pressed his lips to his wife's and kissed her..... Krillin tapped his foot and looked at his watch... ten minutes already and they still hadn't come up for air. Vegeta's stomach began to growl. The pair continued to stay locked at the lip. Half an hour later they separated. "About time." growled Vegeta. "I'm going to have to dust off the cobwebs." said Bulma. "Have you two quite finished playing tonsil hockey? If so can we get going to the reception now? I'm hungry." said Krillin. Goku grinned sheepishly. "Sure, I'm a little famished myself." He took his new wife by the hand and led them down the aisle and out to the waiting car and photographer. As they stepped forth so the photographer snapped a picture. The flash went off followed by a larger flash. When the smoke cleared the photographer was standing with a rather blackened camera in his hand and looking a little worse for wear. "Sorry. Reflex action." said Vegeta. * * * The reception was being held at the Capsule Corp dome. Bulma and Vegeta had offered to put on the reception for their friends as their wedding gift to them and Goku and Jessica had readily agreed. By the time the wedding party arrived the rest of the guests were seated in the huge room. Goku and Jessica followed their attendants into the room and were ushered to their seats. Goku couldn't resist a look at the tables that adorned the one side of the room, heavily laden with food. "Goku, you're dribbling." "Oh. Sorry." The em-cee took over and welcomed everyone to the feast. He babbled on for a few minutes about nothing in particular before finally getting to the point and only then when he was threatened by a patented Vegeta glare. The bridal party made their way to the buffet table first, the women all taking a plate and filling them with a variety of different morsels from the various dishes before heading back to their table. The men followed..... The caterers looked on in disbelief. The bridal party had been the only ones to eat so far and the table was empty. Goku and Vegeta made short work of their piled plates oblivious to the frantic scrambling of the caterers to re stock the table while the rest of the guests looked on in incredulity. Eventually they were able to make their way to the table and partake of the hastily prepared sandwiches. The wedding party moved amongst their guests seeing that each was enjoying themselves and to thank them for coming. Goku met up with Krillin beside the five tier wedding cake. "So you think this time it's for real?" asked Krillin as Goku eyed off the cake. "I'm pretty sure it is. Have you checked out the size of this thing?!" "Yes Goku... it's the wedding cake, it's supposed to be big." "Mmmmm... looks tasty." Goku leaned closer and began to stretch out a finger. "Goku! You can't eat it yet." "Why not?" "You have to wait and cut the thing first... with your bride." "Awww Krillin... no one's going to notice a little bit missing." "Goku!" * * * The alcohol was flowing freely and Vegeta was partaking of a little more than was good for him. Saiya-jins don't handle alcohol too well but Vegeta was feeling pleasantly warm and began to loosen up a little and enjoy himself. The speeches came along and were related with the odd laugh. Stories of younger days and past battles traded ears and everyone was feeling relaxed. The band was playing and people were dancing. Vegeta decided he wanted to add a little of his own entertainment to the evening and swiped the microphone from the singer. The singer was about to object when one look at Vegeta's face convinced him otherwise. The music continued to play, changing from one song to another as each was completed. Suddenly Bulma sat bolt upright and stared at the stage. Vegeta.... Microphone in hand Vegeta began to sing. The crowd stopped and stared at the spiky haired saiya-jin. "I am woman hear me roar, in number's too big to ignore...." Bulma rolled her eyes, people began to giggle but Vegeta continued on regardless, the alcohol pulsing through him causing him to release all his inhibitions. He jumped down from the small stage and weaved amongst the crowd, most of whom had decided he was fairly harmless. "And I know too much to go back an' pretend 'cause I've heard it all before, And I've been down there on the floor, No one's ever gonna keep me down again..." Vegeta sang. Goku watched entranced. He had no idea Vegeta could sing like this. "Oh yes I am wise, But it's wisdom born of pain, Yes, I've paid the price, But look how much I gained, If I have to, I can do anything, I am strong (strong)... I am invincible (invincible)... I am woman" Vegeta serenaded Videl who happened to be hanging onto Gohan's arm in shock. Vegeta waltzed across the floor to stop before Goku. "You can bend but never break me, 'cause it only serves to make me, More determined to achieve my final goal, And I come back even stronger, Not a novice any longer, 'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul" Krillin stood with his mouth opening and closing. Juu mimicked his actions as Vegeta stood in front of them. "Oh yes I am wise, But it's wisdom born of pain, Yes, I've paid the price, But look how much I gained, If I have to, I can do anything, I am strong (strong)... I am invincible (invincible)... I am woman" Juu fainted..... Krillin followed. Vegeta pirouetted his way over to where Bulma was sitting
and plonked down in her lap. "I am woman watch me grow, See me
standing toe to toe, As I spread my lovin' arms across the land, Vegeta picked himself up off the floor and spied Piccolo
hiding in the corner by the toilets. With a look of pure evil he stalked
over to the trembling Namek.... "But it's wisdom born of pain, Piccolo turned a bright shade of red which clashed horribly with his usual green and was promptly sick. Vegeta sauntered back to the stage, handed over the microphone and ignoring the complete silence and eyes that followed him, walked back to his seat and passed out. "Well that was different." said Jessica breaking the silence. As if on cue the chatter and music started up once again. The em-cee once more broke through the noise to announce the cutting of the cake. Jessica took Goku by the hand and led him to the table where the four tiered cake sat waiting. Jessica looked at it for a moment, her hazel blue eyes looking a little confused. She could have sworn the cake was five tiers when they arrived. She looked a little closer and noticed the figurines on the top weren't quite right. They sat a little to one side and there was an extra couple of cake columns resting at the base of the entire cake. She quirked an eyebrow. "Goku?" "Ummm yes dear?' "This cake.... I could have sworn it was five tiers high." Goku looked up and counted. "Nope, it's only four tiers sweetheart." "You sure you don't know anything about this?" Goku whistled innocently. "I think you must have miscalculated dear." Jessica didn't look all that convinced but decided to let it pass for now. They took the knife and began the task of cutting the cake to the cheers and well wishes of friends. Task done they went back to their table while the caterers took charge of cutting up the cake and distributing it amongst the guests. The rest of the evening passed with minimal disruption. Krillin and Juu gave the guests their own rendition of dirty dancing much to the shock of Master Roshi who nearly suffered fatal blood loss. With Vegeta passed out and snoring contentedly Yamcha tried to hit on Bulma again only to come out of the encounter with a black eye. Soon it was time to leave and so with a mixture of sadness and happiness the couple bade their farewells and stepped out into the cool of the evening. Goku scooped his new wife into his arms and levitated into the air. Once clear of the tree tops he flew steadily in the direction of north to their hotel where they would begin their honeymoon. landing a short way from the main entrance so as not to arouse suspicion he carried her inside to the foyer and signed them in. Taking the elevator to the third floor he once more scooped Jessica into his arms and across the threshold to their room. He set her down gently upon her feet and drew her to him in a warm embrace. "Welcome to married life." he said softly as he nuzzled her dark brown hair. Jessica sighed and leaned closer. her lips brushing against the soft skin of his neck. "Do you think you will be happy with me?" he asked as his dark eyes searched her own hazel blue depths. Jessica thought back over the evening then winding her arms around his neck she spoke softly, "Let's just say I don't think that life with you will ever be dull and boring Goku." Goku reached for her lips and locked in a searing kiss. "Never dull and most certainly not boring my love." he thought. ~ Fin ~ (The song "I am Woman" belongs to Helen Reddy and is borrowed for this fic without permission) |
