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"Give Me Life "Written By: Debs-dragon
Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang, a rich Japanese man does. I don't own the song "Bring Me To Life " either, it belongs to Evanescence and as such all rights are theirs. Warnings: sap, songfic, POV, angst Rating: PG 13 Archive: www.dragonball-diaries.150m.com Author: Debs-dragon Summary: Android Eighteen has been regurgitated by Cell and is lying unconscious, carefully guarded by Krillin. While to all intents and purposes she seems *switched off* underneath the exterior all her sensors are still working. Set in Juu's POV. // indicates song lyrics //
September 2003 Debs-dragon I am aware of the darkness fading, the sudden surge of power as the restraints that held me begin to loosen. There is a glow, something akin to pain, a blinding flash and then.... Nothing. My body is frozen; or so it seems. Some of my programing must still be on line though as my sensors indicate a presence beside me. Forcing what little reserves I have left to work I scan desperately to try to understand what is happening to me. Somehow my visual comes back on line and while the pictures are blurry I can piece together the image. Krillin. That bald headed little guy has me cradled in his arms. The air rushes past and it occurs to me that we are flying, he his carrying me. Why? Moments later my sensors register that we have landed, there is something much firmer beneath my battered and broken body. Ironically my eyes remain open - unseeing. Yet I am acutely aware of everything. // How can you see into my eyes I'm aware of your face hovering so close to mine. Your eyes gaze intently at me, piercing through mine and continuing deep into my very nerve center. If I could have I would have trembled from the fierceness of the emotions I watch play across your face. It is as if you can read the very blueprint of my existence. It intrigues me... It also scares the shit out of me. // Without a soul If I didn't know any better I would swear you could see me for what I was, what I had been and what I could become. Had I been capable of tears I would have shed them. For the first time I felt an unusual stirring inside me and it wasn't mechanical. Hope. The part of me that was still human, though small had found an anchor. Somewhere in this maze of flesh, fluids, wires and metal lurked a long forgotten part of my past. They say an android has no soul, no spirit. I beg to differ. I found mine with painful clarity. I felt the fluttering of something deep inside as your gentle concern penetrated what was left of my being. Grimly I reached out and hung on. // (Wake me up) My memory banks stirred, I recall our previous meetings. There is something different about you. You evoke something deep inside me, an unknown or forgotten part that I try desperately to recall from my past, a time before I became this way. I feel an awakening inside as my human part wars with the mechanical being and then; it breaks free. Now I am beginning to understand, now I have some idea of what it is that will save me. Love. That human emotion taken from me along with all my other emotions and human factors upon my transformation and it dawns on me that you are the one that can save me... if only... // (Wake me up) I struggle with the machine part of my being, the human side that still remains scrambling desperately to claw its way back from the black hole it had been forced into, trying to break free before it is too late and the computer side takes over completely. With concentrated effort I fight the programming, trying to convey to you somehow that a part of me is still human, that part of me is still listening and so fervently wants to survive. I want to feel, to live, to love. I don't want this emptiness, this... nothing. // Now that I know what I'm without It's like giving a thirsty man a glass of water, it's not enough. You saw inside me, recognized something there I know for it flashed within your eyes. I can see what is possible and I crave it, aware of what can be. You can't walk away, you can't leave me like this. // Breath into me and make me real I sense your presence as it shifts beside me and pick up on the swirl of unease that is rolling off your form. I can hear the commotion that reverberates through the air and once again I am aware of just how *dead* I am. Is the need I feel so badly to make me whole, real, going to be denied me once more? // (Wake me up) How can I tell you? How can I communicate with you? How can I make you aware of what I ache so much for when I am frozen like this? // (Wake me up) Instinctively I know you have the ability to free me from this prison. I don't fully understand it myself but the human part of me that will no longer be denied its voice insists that you are the one, the one that can release me from this void. // Bring me to life With the little power I have left in me I scan my memory banks. What I find I do not like. The programming I locate is brutal. Having observed much these past few weeks and the results of those observations combined with my remaining human side tells me that all I had been told was a lie. Is that what I have become? A lie? // Frozen inside without your touch No wonder I feel dead. The gentle caress of your hand against my skin sends small shock waves rippling through my circuits. Gods I had forgotten how warm the touch of another could be, how comforting. Another crack appears in my frozen psyche and along with it another step towards life is clawed back // All of this sight With all of the technology that is in my system I cannot believe hoe easy it was for me to be deceived. Another soft touch and this time quiet words accompany it. With the darkness beginning to clear from my jumbled memory so I am finally able to see what I had been programmed to ignore. My sensors indicate that we are on the move again. Held securely in your arms as the wind rushes through my hair and over nerve receptors I begin to allow that earlier twinge to break forth. I begin to hope. // I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems This place you have brought me to, I do not recognize it. There is nothing in my data banks to identify it but for some strange reason I feel safe. Oh how I long to be able to function again, to wake up and be able to express something of which is churning inside. // Without a thought How long has it been since I was human? How long since I was able to make my own decisions?, Voice my own opinions instead of those computer generated ones programmed into me? How long since I was able to be responsible for my own actions? All I can recall is being someone's puppet, jumping when I was told to and never questioning why just how high. Now though you have awoken that part in me that was thought dead and buried and it screams to be set free. // Don't let me die here I can feel my power ebbing, taking with it my life force. I try to cry out but my vocal receptors are mute all remaining power being directed to the more important life sustaining functions. How long do I have left? I do not know. The air around me shifts. From what I can tell with the limited systems still available to me I am alone but there are several energy sources nearby. The sky darkens, a tremble courses through my circuits as electricity flows and the atmosphere shakes with a power I am unable to comprehend. I detect a warm golden glow in the peripheral line of my vision and then... Silence. // (Wake me up) My hearing detects softly spoken words, my body feels the vibration in the air. A surge of power unlike anything I have ever felt before tears through my wiring, firing the circuits and igniting the spark. "Juuhachi?" // (Wake me up) The combination of electricity and fluid runs through my systems and yet there is something different this time. I automatically begin a status check, running through the various programs, locating what is on line, what is damaged and what remains. Something doesn't compute. My self destruct mechanism is gone. Instead of the gaping void though I find something else, something I'm not sure of. I stand now that I am able to and automatically my defenses kick in. I gaze wildly around noting the group watching me intently. What the hell is that? A dragon? You step towards me but I detect no threat. Soft words are spoken and while I understand their meaning I remain confused. // Bring me to life I hastily scan my memory, realizing that my human side is more... prevalent? Somehow that comforts me and yet scares me at the same time. I find I no longer have the urge to destroy, to kill and while I am grateful for that I don't understand what has happened, what *is* happening. You again begin to approach but I back off and you stop. I need time, time to process these new feelings, to come to terms with what I am now. I hope you understand. I speak a few words, attempting to convey both my confusion and gratitude. With all this new data to process I need to be alone. The nod of your head confirms your acceptance. I urn to the edge and dive off, my technology at war with the re-awakened human side. But know this Krillin. I will return. I can see you understand my reasoning and you give a sad smile. No more darkness for me. I am forever in your debt. // Bring me to life. // You gave me the one thing I craved. Life. ~ Fin ~ |
