" Feelings "

Written By: Debs-dragon

Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang, a rich Japanese man does.

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Sap, angst, Lemon. Vegeta POV

Archive: http://www.Dragonball-diaries.150m.com
Anyone else just ask, I'm happy to share.

Summary: Vegeta searches high and low for Goku only to find him back on earth with some disturbing news of up coming androids. Vegeta takes up Bulma's offer to stay with her and train for the battle. Only problem is Vegeta finds himself being distracted by Bulma.

 

" Feelings "

June 2003 Debs-dragon

 

Androids.

That's what I had been told. Mechanical super beings with strength previously unknown were coming to destroy this planet and the life it supported.

I sat and contemplated this fact. Why should it bother me? It wasn't as if I had any reason to support this world or its people... or did I?

I cast my mind back, my own planet and race had been destroyed long before I reached adulthood. When I had learned of its demise my reaction had been non committal, passive, cold even. But what did you expect of a child? While I was by no means lacking in the intellectual department the ramifications of such an act were incomprehensible to my mind at that point in my life.

It wasn't until I was older that the true weight of the resulting actions of such destruction were brought home to me. My once proud race was reduced to a mere handful by nothing more than a cold blooded killer.

I had been raised to ignore any feelings of compassion, regret or pity; to repress them in favor of hatred, arrogance and the thrill of battle. While on the outside I appear cold and indifferent, on the inside I bleed.

As much as I am loathe to admit it I need to protect this planet. Growing up and traveling from place to place with nowhere to call home wearied me.

After the first battle with Kakarott, I began to understand a little of what he fought for. Meeting with him the second time on Namek only confirmed my earlier musings. He fought not only because he had the Saiya-jin blood in his veins, blood that pulsed and flowed with the thrill of the fight, but because he had something worth fighting for.

He hadn't known the harsh reality that had been my life thus far, he had been isolated from his heritage and therefore his 'humanity' was still in tact. He had a home and beings that cared for him.

All I had were memories and an empty void.

Somehow though, that was beginning to change. Being with Kakarott, however brief, had shown me a little of what I could have had. When I found myself transported to this planet again with that wish, I wondered why. Even more confusing was the acceptance of myself and the offer of a place to stay, despite my past record. That was a new emotion I found hard to understand.

Forgiveness.

And while the battle raged within myself, I accepted.

The woman that took me in, fed me and provided me with training facilities. Why would she do this? Despite my continuing indifference towards her she smiled and carried on as if nothing was amiss. I tried everything, coldness, arrogance, insults, demands, and while she would give me back just the same she never once told me to leave.

So I continued to use her. If she was foolish enough to offer her services then I wasn't about to turn them down.

Over the months I trained long and hard, pushing myself to the limit. If the knowledge that these androids were so superior was true, then I needed to be ready. I needed to train, to become the strongest, achieve that next level and prove once and for all that I, Vegeta, the prince of a race that was all but wiped out was the strongest fighter in the universe. I had lost my heritage, my home, my father, my people; I was dammed if I was going to lose my pride as well!.

A nagging thought in the back of my mind though kept telling me that this wasn't the only reason that I trained. Try as I might I could ignore it no longer. While all the other reasons for training so hard were valid I knew I had another reason to fight. I needed to protect this planet and the one person who had managed to somehow get under my skin and show me compassion.

While my mind refused to acknowledge this fact, my heart and body betrayed me.

Having seen the interaction between Kakarott and these beings, their reactions to his complete persona, and knowing he was a Saiya-jin just like me made me question my own existence. Maybe, just maybe if my upbringing had been different then I too could know what it feels like to be cared about. But it was too late for that now. My fate had been sealed upon my birth. I was a prince with no kingdom, a sovereign with no subjects, a warrior without purpose.

But I had a purpose now.... Didn't I?

As grudging as I was to admit it I did have a purpose. I just didn't fully understand or appreciate it yet.

I needed to protect this planet....

Why?

I wish I knew.

~ * ~

I continued with my training, pushing myself time and time again to the very edge of my physical and mental limits. I had to prove to myself that I was better, I was the strongest. I was a prince, god dammit! The level of Super Saiya-jin was mine by birthright so to see another Saiya-jin, and a third class one at that, achieve what should have been mine did not bode well.

I knew if I pushed myself hard enough that I eventually would.

And then there was the enigma of that woman. When I first met her she was afraid of me. I can still see the fear in her eyes, read the terror in every line of her trembling form and I was pleased. It was as it should be. I was a warrior and my enemies should fear me.

But was she an enemy?

I found myself with doubts to this fact. While her outward appearance clearly showed she was afraid of me, her eyes told a different story. I was intrigued, mesmerized and captivated. The last thing I expected when I arrived on this planet was compassion, and given my behavior towards her in particular it felt wrong that she should show me anything other than contempt.

But she offered, with nothing else left to me, I took it.

How she could do this was beyond my reasoning and so I didn't bother to analyze it, I accepted her offer of a place to stay, somewhere to train and in return I guess I gave my commitment to protecting this pathetic excuse for a planet.

She built me a training facility, one that gave me the chance to fine tune my existing skills and develop new ones. I would train daily, from my waking moment until I dragged my exhausted body from the chamber and back to my bed at night. I wouldn't have eaten except for her. She was regular, diligent in her way of making sure I ate. I found myself beginning to look forward to her visits and chastised myself for that weakness. I couldn't afford to have distractions, I needed to focus fully on the intent of becoming stronger.

Angry at myself for succumbing to emotions I never knew I had, I threw myself harder into my training. I don't think she was aware of the effect she was having on me. I tried to avoid her as much as possible.

It wasn't easy.

I would pass her in the hallway and her scent would invade my nostrils, her perfume, her shampoo and an underlying odor that was uniquely her. My eyes would roam over her soft body, taking in the gentle curves, the dips and lines that gave her that outline. I wondered what her skin would feel like to the touch. Would it be soft and warm, rough or smooth?

Having spent my time traveling from planet to planet I had yet to discover the experience of laying with another being. While my mind may not be all that clued up, my body certainly knew what it wanted.

I began to lie awake at night, staring into the darkness as I contemplated what was happening to me. These new feelings were completely alien to me, they confused me and that was something I could not afford to let happen. I tried to understand them but instead of finding the answers, I only raised more questions. Why did I feel warm when she was near? Why did my breathing elevate and my pulse quicken? My eyes were drawn like magnets to her form and my body trembled with the effort to keep it under control.

As each day passed I began to draw further away, lock myself into my training and avoid her as much as possible. Yet each night would still find me lying awake as my tortured mind tried to make sense of the storm that raged within. My frustrations began to get the better of me, my mind wandering during training and I began to make mistakes. I cursed myself, I cursed my weakness and I cursed her.

Looking back I can see it was only a matter of time before I paid the price. Allowing my mind to wander again I let the training robots get under my guard. A sharp jab of pain as the energy beam connected with my body was enough to jolt me back and I found myself surrounded by the evil demons. Expletives left my mouth in a torrent as I tried to escape my self induced predicament. Frustration and anger combined to tip me over the edge and my body glowed. The robots fired in orchestrated synchronization as I retaliated with my own fire power. The warnings of overloading the system fled my mind as I concentrated on releasing my ire. The chamber glowed brightly. I screamed my rage, and then...

Nothing.

My world went black and my tortured soul found momentary peace in dark oblivion.

~ * ~

I have no idea how long I was unconscious and nor do I care. While I was in this limbo state the pain was gone, I didn't have to think or feel. It was a blessed relief.

When I did awaken fully my eyes focussed on...

Her.

She was sprawled across the table, head resting on her arms as she slept. I raised myself to stare at her, to let my eyes fully appreciate her body, to explore what I had only dared to glimpse at before. My eyes roved the slender form, from her soft hair and over her creamy skin, noting the dark lashes resting in half moons over warm cheeks, slightly upturned nose and gentle lips. It was then that I understood what this feeling inside was.

Desire.

Somehow this earthling had crawled under my skin and penetrated my very core, touching something deep within my soul. No longer was I content to sit back and watch. I had to have her, mind, body and soul.

My stirrings on the bed awakened her and she groggily raised her head, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes as she orientated herself once again. She turned and looked in my direction. I noted the smile as she realized I was awake, and with feline grace she stood and stretched before moving to my bedside and checking the various items of equipment that were attached to my anatomy. My eyes followed her every move. I could smell the sweet scent of her as she moved about her tasks. It permeated my nostrils and intoxicated my mind and I knew I had to have her.

She reached across to adjust something, her hair brushing against my cheek and sending sparks of fire dancing down my spine. So close... she was so close. Did she have any idea what she was doing to me?

I reached up and placed my arm around her waist as she leaned over my prone form.

She froze.

I smirked.

Slowly she turned her face to look into my eyes. They say that a persons eyes are the window to one's soul and I could read every emotion swirling in those oceans of blue. I raised my other hand to cup her cheek. Her skin was soft and smooth against the roughness of my palm. I stroked a thumb over her cheekbone and she leaned into the caress. My eyes searched hers for permission as our lips gravitated towards each other. She closed hers in acquiesce and I pressed my mouth to hers. Moving softly over her sweetness I pushed my tongue forth to plunder her depths and taste the sweetness within, finding her secrets, her sensitive spots and exploiting them ruthlessly.

She moaned into the kiss as it deepened and intensified. I felt my own passion beginning to rise and pulled away to regain oxygen. She stared at me. "Please." It was a simple request and yet it held all the the promise of a world unexplored if I was to respond. I lowered my lips once more to drink of her sweetness, the taste intoxicating me and driving my body wild with a need previously unknown. She softened against me as she climbed to join me on the small bed, I wrapped my arms around her slender frame and crushed her to me, my mouth continuing to move over hers.

She continued to moan as she worked a leg between my thighs, pushing them apart and rubbing against me, sending my already screaming hormones into overdrive. I thrust my hips against her, seeking more friction for the ache that was developing in my groin. I began to kiss along the column of her throat and she tossed her head backwards to allow me better access, the show of supplication increased my desire as I intended to sample everything this beauty had to offer.

My hips continued to push against her as my hands wandered over her back and around to her chest. I found the buttons to her blouse and began to undo them, the silky material parting with each release until she was bared to my touch and sight, the only barrier now being the soft lace of the undergarment she wore. I was unfamiliar with the underclothing of earth females and it took me a moment to figure out the logistics of how it worked but once I did there was no stopping me. The garment was discarded and I gazed upon her naked torso with unbridled lust.

Her breasts swelled forth, a heated flush spreading across her skin as I gently ran my fingers over the soft mounds of flesh. I paused to tease the darker area and smirked as she gasped and then writhed against me. A weak spot. I mentally filed that away for future use. Curiosity soon got the better of me and I lowered my mouth to suckle lightly at the tempting flesh. The response was electric.

She bucked underneath me and it didn't take me long to work out just what sent her panting and moaning for more. I continued in my task, laving her breast with a diligence, sucking and nipping gently between the two hardened nubs as she began to pant for more. I began to slide a hand down over her flat stomach towards the hem of her skirt and then lower to a thigh. I slipped my hand underneath the cloth and began to run my fingertips over the velvet skin of her inner leg.

Her hands were not idle either.

I shivered as the warm palm rubbed over the bare skin of my torso, circling softly and then working lower. Finger tips danced over the tight spandex of my shorts and located the bulge that had developed. I gasped as her hand brushed over my aching need, my hips thrusting of their own accord.

My own hand traveled higher up her thigh to the juncture of her legs which she spread eagerly for me. I smirked at that. She was so wanton in her pose and it only excited me further. I let my fingers brush over the silkiness of her panties, dipping to tease under the tight elastic as she moaned her approval in my ear. Slipping completely under the fabric I found her heat and stroked softly, her moistness confirming what her moans had already informed me.

Her small hand reached for the waistband of my shorts and gently tugged them down, not easy when I was as hard as a rock. She persisted though and soon my shorts were a memory, lost somewhere in the vicinity of my ankles and the bed sheets. I added my own moans to hers as my arousal was freed and she took it into her hand, stroking the length with passion like a child with a new toy.

My own fingers continued their exploration of her warm, wet folds, caressing between them and finding the gateway to heaven. I dipped inside to tease her inner walls as she pushed against me in an attempt to satisfy the growing need of her body.

Her hands continued in their pleasuring of my own aching length, firm strokes that drove me to near madness, pausing from time to time to run her thumb across the swollen head and spread my leaking fluids to ease the passage of her hand. Her other hand joined the first and she cupped my sac, rolling me gently in her palm and tearing the cries of need from my throat. For the first time in my life I found myself as helpless as a new born kitten.

And I loved it.

I tugged at the hem of her panties, my need becoming too intense to deny any longer. I had to be buried within her heat, feel her around me and obtain that goal that was just out of my reach. She shifted her hips to allow the removal of the garment and once done I rolled her to her back and settled between her spread thighs. I rubbed myself against her, teasing her further until her sobs of desire grew in intensity and I couldn't stand the torment against my own throbbing need any more.

I positioned myself carefully and then with my eyes locked onto hers I pushed forwards. Her body parted and welcomed me to paradise, her moistness easing my passage as I seated myself fully within her. I paused for a moment as nerves sang with sensation and I desperately clawed back my control. Her eyes drifted shut and she panted lightly as I filled her with my being, she looked... beautiful.

With control again established I began my withdrawal, slipping back until only the tip remained inside and then plunging forth once more. The electricity flowed through me as sensations previously unknown swam through my nervous system to explode inside my head. I groaned as I began a rhythm, thrusting in only to retreat moments later.

She moved in synch beneath me, meeting each of my forward thrusts with a push of her own, sending me deeper into her hot passage which rippled and pulsed around me. It was exquisite, warm and undeniably good. Our bodies danced together in an act as old as time itself, striving to reach the ultimate in pleasure yet loathe to meet it. My hips continued to snap forth as I sank time and time again into her willingness, moans my constant companion as I climbed the ladder.

She lunged upwards and caught my lips in a searing kiss, one that demanded more from my already giving body. I met the kiss and returned it with a fire of my own, cries and whimpers joining to form a symphony of sounds that excited us further. As our tongues met and played so our bodies continued in their quest for completion.

I knew I was reaching the end, darkness edging my vision as pleasure built beyond comprehension. I raised a hand to cup her breast and bring her to nirvana with me. She writhed and bucked under my hand as she rose to meet the tide of completion. With a shudder and a scream of my name she tipped over the edge and flew into oblivion. Her body pulsed and spasmed around my shaft, hungrily massaging me, challenging me to join her in this paradise.

Who was I to refuse?

A keening cry tore from my lips as I found my release. I trembled as her body sucked my seed greedily from me, swallowing it all and milking me for more. The fire in my gut had built to an inferno and raged out of control and all I could do was ride the waves as my universe spun around me. With the last ripples of my orgasm receding I collapsed, sated, onto her slender body and sucked the life giving air back into my lungs.

She gently rolled from beneath me and I slipped reluctantly from her warmth. I opened an eye to find her smiling face staring at me. "Thank you." she whispered.

I grunted in reply, my vocal skills having yet to return. I continued to lay there in the warmth of the after glow. This experience had left me sated yet exhilarated and idly I wondered why I hadn't bothered to experience it before. Her movement once more drew me back and I watched as she found her panties and slipped them back on. She fixed the rest of her clothing and then stood. Her hand ran lightly over the skin of my back and I shivered at the touch.

"You need to rest. You're not fully healed yet."

My injuries chose that moment to come back and remind me of their presence. I groaned softly. I listened to her moving around, still in my contented haze and unwilling to return to the current plane anytime soon. I found myself drifting off and welcomed the sleep.

~ * ~

I recovered from my injuries and again commenced my training but this time it was harder. With her presence all around me I could not focus. Knowing what had passed between us and that she was still there tormented me more than she would know. I had to get away. I couldn't achieve my goals while she was around, knowing what we had shared and the fact that she made no secret about being willing to share again if I so desired, driving me to distraction.

It was then that I made my plans. I left one night while they were all sleeping, I programmed the ship to take me far away so I could continue in my training without any outside interference. I landed upon a planet so distant and barren it was as if I had reached the very pits of hell itself.

It was perfect.

The months passed and I pushed myself to the limit. My strength improved beyond thought, but still that level I craved so much for continued to be ever elusive. I began to despair ever reaching that goal but my pride continued to pulse through my veins and I refused to give in. The night of passion I had shared continued to haunt me from time to time but was no longer the distraction it had been. During my times of rest my mind would wander to those few stolen moments of lust and I would ponder on what had happened.

I began to wonder about the woman that had affected me in such a way. Was she disappointed that I had gone? Did she wonder of my return? I would return, of that there was no doubt in my mind, but it would not be until I had achieved that level that continued to defy me. When I finally reached that goal and did return I could only hope there would still be a planet there to warrant fighting for.

I lost track of time, days melding into one of continuous rigorous training but there became a nagging feeling inside my core, one I could not identify with. It would keep me awake when trying to sleep, infiltrate my subconscious at times when I couldn't afford the distraction and pop up to annoy me when planning strategies. I had no clue as to what it was. It was unlike anything I had experienced before.

It was my soul crying out for something but it was a different calling to that of the woman I had taken. It was as if a part of me was on that planet, a helpless part that needed my presence to become whole, to protect it. It puzzled me no end. The more I tried to figure it out the more complex it became.

And then the meteorite shower hit.

Burning chunks of rock slammed into the planet's surface, causing the gravity field to become unstable and the planet shook violently. I had to get off, get out of here before it completely destroyed itself. It was as if the gods themselves were mocking me, watching my futile attempts to get back to my space ship. Rubble was tossed around, striking me at random and battering my body, the ground heaved and bucked beneath my feet causing my steps to falter and sending me sprawling. I roared my rage to the heavens and then ceased all vocal pursuits as my eyes widened in fear.

The huge chunk of rock that was bearing down on this planet laughed at me and I knew the end was inevitable. I was ready to give it all up when I felt that stirring in my soul again, that pull that I had yet to define. It begged me not to give up, to find inside of myself that strength and will to survive, to return to that blue green planet and find it. I looked again at the massive rock and my anger flared. I wasn't prepared to die... not yet and certainly not out here. I wanted to live, to return to that planet and find this force that called so desperately to me. I screamed my anger and faced my tormentor, the fire raced through my blood as I summoned all my strength.

And then it happened.

I don't remember clearly how, but I do recall that suddenly all the rage within me began to accumulate deep in my gut, concentrate in one part of my being and intensify. It built to the point where I thought my insides were being ripped from me and the scream that tore from my throat echoed this sentiment. With a burst of light the power exploded and ripped through muscle, bone and flesh. I felt exhilarated as I pulsed with the new found energy. I looked at myself and nearly cheered. I had finally done it.

I was now a Super Saiya-jin.

I did not have time to dwell on my new form though, the rock coming ever closer. I fixed my steely gaze back to the object that threatened me and drawing upon my new found strength I fired at it. The beam of energy connected and the rock was destroyed. Without giving myself time to reflect on my new status I scrambled over crashing boulders and dodged fire balls as I hastened towards my craft and means of escape. I shot inside and hastily programed the computer. The door hissed shut as I threw myself into the chair and grabbed the safety harness. Buckling myself in I slammed my hand down on the button and felt the craft shudder into life. Rockets fired and the small ship lifted off. I stared out the small viewing window as the planet I had occupied for some time now disappeared beneath me as I sped into the void of space and towards that calling.

~ * ~

My arrival back on the planet called earth went unnoticed. As soon as I stepped from the craft I could sense the energy of the battle and my Saiya-jin instincts kicked in. I scanned around and pin pointed where the action was taking place. I could feel the presence of Kakarott but his ki was weakening. More time had passed that I had originally thought. But before I announced my presence there was something else I had to do first.

The pull was stronger now, leading me towards that golden dome I had called home. I could feel the presence of the woman and her family and yet there was more there, the unknown force that drew me also resided there. The dome came into view and I cautiously flew closer. I didn't want them to know I was back but I had to find out what it was that drew me here. Keeping myself hidden from detection I circled the building until I singled out the one that called me. I hovered near a window, my form in the shadows as I watched the woman place something in what appeared to be some sort of bed. She smiled fondly at the bed and then left, whispering a few words as she went. My ears picked up on the words and I felt myself pale.

With her presence gone I entered the room and landed softly. I walked over to the bed and gazed down, my mouth opened in shock and my body froze as my eyes focused on the small bundle that lay within the covers. Soft lavender hair, rounded cheeks and the upper torso appearing childish but with the definite outline of muscle.

Her words came back to haunt me.

"My son, sleep well. One day your father will return."

The tug within me settled to an ache as I studied the sleeping child. Now I knew, now I understood why I had to survive, why I had to protect this planet and its life forms for I would also be protecting one of my own.

"My son." I whispered softly as I reached out to brush a strand of hair from his face. His features screwed up into a grimace for a moment before relaxing and snuggling deeper into his dreams. I allowed a small smile to grace my lips as I watched.

My son. I was a father. Once again the blood of my race would flow.

I turned and went back to the window. As I levitated into the air and out to the sky I glanced back once again. "I will return my son." I vowed quietly and then sped off to join the battle that must be won at all costs.

~ Fin ~

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