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" The Wizard of Auz " Written By: Debs-dragon and Majin_Vegeta Disclaimer: We don't own the various copyrighted characters that appear. The 'mad board' members all appear willingly....(well most do). The wizard of oz belongs to its creator we just wanted to play.... Rating: R. Contains some language. Notes: Kris and I got together with the idea of taking the story of Dorothy and the wizard and substituting the characters with our own members from the Madman bulletin board. The entire place has been changed from Kansas to Perth and Oz to Anime land. We had a lot fun writing this & hope you enjoy reading it and get a smile from it.
The Wizard of Auz Dorothy : Debs-dragon Wicked witch of the West : Queenie The Munchkins : Shinniath, ~Trunks~, Sauceman, Aussie
girl. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE WIZARD OF AUZ
Part 12
"My god how can you ignore something like that? I think my vision has been permanently damaged." muttered Deb. "Your vision! Just thank the stars above you weren't as close as I was." huffed Majintoto. "Yeah well we do thank heavens for small mercies." "I really can't see what the problem is." said the Scarecrow/SSJK2000. "That doesn't surprise me, you're lucky you don't have a brain to process that information." responded the Tin Man/Porunga. "Well I think the Lion/SSjMatty is the luckiest one." said Deb. They all turned to where the Lion/SSjMatty was still sprawled unconscious on the floor blissfully unaware of the proceedings. "You know he would make a pretty good rug." said the brown dog as he cocked his head. "Just chuck him down in front of the fire and bingo, instant warmth for me to lie on." The comment had the desired effect and with the threat of becoming a rug hitting his brain the Lion/SSjMatty returned to the current plane. He looked down at himself and seeing the pool of blood he had been lying in noted the marks on his fur. "Geeze these stains are gonna be a bi*ch to get out." he thought. "Okay now that we have confirmed everyone is still here lets get back to the matter at hand shall we?" said Deb. "What were we here for again?" asked the Scarecrow/SSJK2000. Deb groaned audibly, I swear if he doesn't get a brain soon then I'm going to feed him to the horse. The sounds of a toilet being flushed reverberated through the room and five pairs of eyes opened wide as the door to the WC began to move. "Errrr.... Ummmmm..... Sorry about that but you know.... when you gotta go you gotta go." said the Wiz/Kermi as he shrugged his shoulders and entered the room. "So you are the almighty Wizard of Auz?" said Deb as she looked the figure up and down shaking her head. "Life's full of disappointments." growled Majintoto. "I am the Wizard." huffed the Wiz/Kermi, "Just cause I don't go around wearing fancy, flouncy, flashy, frilly, flowing, full fabrics doesn't mean Im not a powerful wizard." "Try saying that line when you have had a few too many." whispered the Tin Man/Porunga. The Lion/SSjMatty nodded in agreement. "Yeah...yeah...yeah... whatever. I really don't give a sh*t what you're wearing, you promised me you would help us out if we brought you the WWW/Queenies vaccy and thats just what we have done. So how about filling your side of the agreement?" said Deb tapping her foot. The Wiz/Kermi moved across the room to a table where a briefcase sat. He fiddled with the lock and then opened the thing. The troupe all looked at each other with grins, It looked like they were finally going to get what they wanted. The wiz stared at them intently. "Okay ... lets see what I have got in here." and he rummaged around in the case. "Scarecrow/SSJK2000..." The Scarecrow/SSJK2000 jumped as he heard his name called. "Yes?" "I believe you wanted a brain?" "Ummmm..... I did?" The Scarecrow/SSJK2000 looked at Deb for help. "Yes he wanted a brain. If you can help him I would be really grateful... I don't think I can take much more of this.... " sighed Deb. "Please hurry up and give him one before we all lose our minds." muttered Majintoto. The Wiz/Kermi pulled something out of his briefcase and walked over to the Scarecrow/SSJK2000. "Here you go." he said and passed the object to the hay stack. The Scarecrow/SSJK2000 stared down at the object as the rest of the group peered over his shoulder. "It's a Peanut!" he said, "Just how the heck is that supposed to be a brain?" "See it's working already." said the Wiz/Kermi. "You recognised it and are asking intelligent questions." Majintoto rolled his eyes. "I think someone is being taken for a ride here." Deb didn't care, just so long as the straw pile had stopped with the lame questions she was happy. The Scarecrow/SSJK2000 continued to gaze at the peanut with something akin to awe. "Who would have thought something this small....." he continued to muse. "Simple things amuse simple minds." mumbled Majintoto. "What about me?" asked the Tin Man/Porunga. "I was promised a heart." "Ahhh yes my metallic little man, so you were." said the Wiz/Kermi as he once more returned to the briefcase and began to filter through its contents. With a shout of triumph he emerged clasping a slightly larger object than before. "Whats that?" said the Tin Man/Porunga as he eyed the package suspiciously. "Why its as close to the real thing as you are gonna get tin can." replied the Wiz/Kermi Majintoto craned his neck to see what the Wiz/Kermi was holding and promptly rolled around the floor laughing. "Whats so funny?" asked the Lion/SSjMatty. "Wait till you see what the Wiz/Kermi has got." snickered the mongrel. The Tin Man/Porunga stared at the object in the Wiz/Kermi's hand. "Its a video." he stated. "Ahhh but not just any video. It just so happens to be the complete series of 'Heartbeat' so your problem of no heart is solved." smirked the Wiz/Kermi. "Oh I get it.... Heartbeat... heart...." trailed off the Scarecrow/SSJK2000. "Looks like the peanut is doing its job." snickered Deb. The Tin Man/Porunga took the offered video and immediately felt a stirring inside his tin chest. "Oh wow...." he said. "Okay, you did the two easy ones now what about some courage for the puddy cat here?" said Deb. "You don't really have to... I mean I'm quite happy the way I am you know... It's not as if it's vitally important..humph.... mumph..." The Lion/SSjMatty found himself cut off in mid sentence as Deb shoved the end of his tail into his mouth. "Shut up puss, the Wiz/Kermi is on a roll here so don't go stopping him now, I want to get home you know." hissed Deb. "Ahhh yes... the cat that needs the courage to get the cream." said the Wiz/Kermi and he returned once more to his briefcase. He fiddled for a while and pulled out a medal that said 'Bravery' on it. He looked at the object and twirled it around before shaking his head. "Nope... I don't think so, that ones been done before." He chucked the medal back into the case and fished out a piece of paper. With a satisfied smirk he strolled over to the Lion/SSjMatty who was doing his best to hide behind Majintoto. If you have ever seen a large Lion/SSjMatty trying to hide behind a small brown Majintoto terrier then you will know that it didn't work. "Here you go." said The Wiz/Kermi as he handed the Lion/SSjMatty the roll of paper. The Lion/SSjMatty cowered as if the Wiz/Kermi was about to beat him senseless with said paper. "Oh for heavens sake! " said Deb and she grabbed the paper from the Wiz/Kermi's hand. Unrolling it she read out loud. "This entitles the bearer to a ten week course in positive thinking at the Anime Central University. Please ring for course dates and times." "Oh." said the Lion/SSjMatty. "Thanks Wizzy. Thats just what I need." The Wiz/Kermi returned to his briefcase and went to lock it when the Tin Man/Porunga spoke up. "What about Deb? You promised to help all of us remember." "Yeah thats right Wizzy, you promised to send us both home.... There is a certain spaniel that I have a date to finish with." said Majintoto as he sat at his mistresses feet. "I don't think there is anything in that briefcase for me and Majintoto." said Deb sadly. "Although a shoe horn would not go astray, its gonna take weeks for these blisters to heal." "Thats not fair. You did say you would help all of us Wizzy." said the Scarecrow/SSJK2000 "I mean a promise is a promise and there is more than one way to get Deb and the dog home. Just look at all the things you're supposed to be able to do...." the Scarecrow/SSJK2000 continued his rantings. "I think I preferred him before he got the so called brain." sniffed Majintoto. Deb looked at the dog. "I think I agree with you." "Yeah come on Wiz/Kermi. Don't make me have to get tough with you." said the Lion/SSjMatty as he stuck out his chest and stood over the Wiz/Kermi. "I hate to remind you but you haven't signed up yet on that course Lion/SSjMatty." growled the Wiz/Kermi. "Oh yeah... so I haven't. What am I thinking?" said the Lion/SSjMatty and he promptly shrank back to hide behind the Scarecrow/SSJK2000. "Now if you have all quite finished." "Have we finished?" asked Deb. "I think so." "I have." "No more from me." "Woof." "Okay Wizzy we're all done you can continue." s aid Deb. The Wiz/Kermi scowled at the group. "I have a way to get Deb and Majintoto back home to Perth." "You do? Great!" grinned Deb. "If you would care to walk this way." and the Wiz/Kermi proceeded to shuffle to a door at the rear of the room. The rest of the group looked at each other and then began to shuffle forward as well, imitating the Wizard/Kermi's gait as best they could. Hearing the unusual sounds the Wiz/Kermi stopped and turned around to see the mob all shuffling behind him. "Just what are you doing?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Well you said to walk this way so we are.... mind you its a bit hard to do with four legs." sniffed Majintoto. The Wiz/Kermi rolled his eyes in frustration. "I know there has to be a better fic out there that I could be a part of." he muttered to himself. "Well we didn't exactly volunteer either you know Wizzy so if we have to suffer than so can you." said the Tin Man/Porunga. The Wiz/Kermi decided that the only way to get out of this fic and back to the real world was to get Deb and the dog home to Perth..... as quickly as possible. He continued towards the door and opened it. he stepped through and allowed the rest of the group to follow. "Oh my." said Deb. "Cool!" said the dog. "Way to go Wizzy." There in front of them stood a large white airbus with a background of blue and stars emblazoned on the tail. "So this is how you're gonna get us home?" I hope there is an in flight movie." grinned Deb. "I agree, the last flight I took didn't have one and the vomit bags were non existent." said Majintoto and shuddered as he remembered the flight with the monkeys. 'All aboard then." said the Wiz/Kermi and he proceeded up the stairway to the cockpit doors. Everyone else filed up the stairs and down the aisle to find seats. Deb looked at the three misfits she and Majintoto had met and helped while on their journey to Anime Central. "Ummmm... guys? While I'm gonna miss you lot and all just what the hell do you think you are doing on the plane with me?" "We just thought we would come along for the ride and make sure you get home safely." chorused the three. "More like they want to use up their frequent flier points." growled Majintoto. He was getting rather fed up with the three that continued to follow them around. All he wanted to do was meet up with his spaniel, enjoy some good old fashioned dating and then curl up with a nice bone. Sighing in resignation Deb leaned back and did up her seatbelt. Stretching her legs she tried again to work the stilettos off her feet but they wouldn't budge. "Great!" she thought to herself. "I can see me still stuck in these things when I'm trying to compete at the Perth Royal Show." Suddenly the engines fired up and the plane began to taxi. It reached the beginning of the runway and stopped. Then..... Silence. The air hostess appeared from behind the curtain and approached the passengers. "Now what?" muttered Majintoto. The hostess cleared her throat. "Ladies, dogs, tin cans, cats and hay stacks I have been told to inform you that Ansett has gone into liquidation effective immediately. Very sorry and all that but there's the door so bu*ger off." The hostess turned and exited the plane. "Well thats just charming! Now how do we get to use out frequent flier points?" asked the Lion/SSjMatty. "Damm companies! You can't trust enterprise these days." muttered the Tin Man/Porunga. The group made their way back off the plane and onto the tarmac. No sooner had they moved away from the plane than the engines fired up again and with a roar the plane took off down the runway and up into the sky, the Wiz/Kermi waving at them as he disappeared. "I knew he wanted to get out of this fic but I didn't think he would go to these lengths." muttered Deb. "I told you we should have gone with Virgin Blue." said the Scarecrow/SSJK200 from around the runway where the force of the planes engines had scattered him. Picking up the pieces of hay and stuffing them back into the clothes Deb muttered, "Next time I will stuff the haynet with you." "Virgin Blue wouldn't have got us home." yapped Majintoto. "Why not?" asked Deb. "They only fly virgins....." snickered the dog. Deb felt all of her self control fly out of the proverbial window. "That's it!" she screamed. "I've really had it this time! All I ever wanted to do was stay at home with hubby and raise my stud farm... but nooooo. What happens? I get stuck in some weird nightmare with a talking dog, moulting hay stack, rusty tin can, cat that should have been a canary, witchy poo with a spandex fetish, half baked monkeys that need flying lessons, height deprived pygmies, a wizard that thinks he's John Travolta, an airline that goes bust and a pair of stilettos that seem to be permanently GLUED TO MY FEET!" "Umm you forgot something." sniggered Majintoto. "No I do not want the PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!" screamed Deb. "Errr... not that, I was thinking more along the lines of a certain blue fairy thingy." woofed the dog. Deb groaned and looked skyward as the blue bubble once more appeared weaving and diving all over the place. "Well isn't this just peachy." said Deb as the blue bubble swerved and landed on top of her. ~ To be concluded......~
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